it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize