people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
where does the pee come out of this thing
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
