what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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