remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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