he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
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I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
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The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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