you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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