Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
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Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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