69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize