I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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