She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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