How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
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an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
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Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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