The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize