Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i think i just lost a toe
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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