well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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