I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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