bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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