Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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