Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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