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All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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