the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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