Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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