His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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