i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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