Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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