Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
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You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize