Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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