The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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