The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize