I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i think i just lost a toe
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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