he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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