Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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