she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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