I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize