he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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