at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
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