Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize