We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
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Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
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It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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