Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
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Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
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Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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