Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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