What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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