Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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