you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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