Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
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i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
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I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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