It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
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You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
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We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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