Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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