"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize