I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize