Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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