I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
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Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
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WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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