Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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