My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
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I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
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I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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